Posted in Blog challenge, Me

Blog Challenge Part 12

Hello and happy Thursday. Yesterday, felt like a Monday all day, so I’m really glad that today is actually Thursday.

Well…another week, another Blog Challenge post.

I left off on Part 11.

…and today I’m going to write about topic 24…

24. A difficult time in my life

I know I’ve had a really great life. I’m lucky to think of only a few times in my life that were difficult for an extended amount of time, and they really do pale in comparison to what others have gone through.

With some of these blog challenge topics, I just go with what pops in my mind first and write about those ideas.

Here are a few difficult times that came to mind…

When we moved…

When we moved, I was in the 8th grade. To my parents’ credit, they were trying to give my brother and me a better life in a great school district and bigger house in a wonderful neighborhood. Well, try telling that to my thirteen year old self.

Also to my parents’ credit, since we’d only moved about twenty minutes away, they let me finish out the year at my previous middle school when really I could have started my new school in March of my 7th grade year.

Middle school years are just weird anyway…and then I was a new girl in a new school missing my friends.

I “rebelled” in a sense and refused to play volleyball or run track like I did my 7th grade year. I just decided to not come out of my room and just be miserable…and probably made them miserable too.

My brother was only in 5th grade, and made the transition to a new school better than I did. I kind of think boys have an easier time anyway….and he was younger.

By 9th grade, I settled in, branched out, and made friends. I think freshman year helped because it was a fresh start and many ninth graders were coming from a couple of schools.

That being said, being the “new girl” did stick with me through the years. To this day, I pay close attention and try not to let anyone, whether it’s my friend group or a student, feel left out. Due to a hectic season of life, we don’t have people over like we used to, but it’s always hard for me to know when to stop on the invite list. Again, I don’t want anyone feeling left out. Also, even as an adult, sometimes I still feel left out, and I’m sure it’s not intentional on anyone’s part. At least I don’t think so. Ok, I will stop spiraling now. 😆

Anyway, it all turned out for the best, and I had a great high school experience, made great friends, and learned a thing or two about starting over. I’d say those lessons helped me when I moved to Kentucky as an adult after living in Missouri my entire life.

Starting a family…

We struggled to start a family. I’ll probably talk a bit more about this more in June’s Not Just a Mom post, but…it took a couple of years, many doctors’ visits, medicine and more to have Hayden and Hadley. I kept it all really private because that’s just how I am. I didn’t want anyone to worry about me. It was a lonely time though.

After we had the kids and tried for a third, it took even more doctors’ visits and even stronger medicine to get pregnant again. Then, I had a miscarriage which was obviously difficult. Truly, after that, when I look back on my infertility struggles, the time (and the years following) after the miscarriage was the hardest.

I was never able to get pregnant again, and eventually I had to move on. The cost, physical discomfort, mood swings, along with having two little kids got to be too much for me to rationalize continuing on that journey. I felt like I was letting go of a dream which was sad for me. I’m a type A goal setter who usually achieves what I set my mind to …so it was hard feeling like a failure.

I realize I wasn’t a failure, but I think most who go through what I did know that feeling.

It’s hard not to have a happy ending after a traumatic loss like that. Sometimes that kind of grief is hard to shake even after all of these years.

Job transition…

When I left my former school to move to my current one, it was a difficult decision. I was really close with my department and had great friends there. I knew it was best for my family for me to work closer to home and in the same district as my kids, but I guess that decision did impact some friendships.

Then, that first year in my new school was really hard. It was year 15 for me, but I was in a new building that was double the size of my former one. There were times I truly felt like I’d made a mistake. It was the hardest year of my educational career, and I even thought about quitting. That being said, the next year was one of my best in my teaching career, so I’m glad that I stuck with it. Plus, the years following led me to my current interventionist position, and I’m definitely grateful for that.

This was kind of a “heavier” blog post…sorry! That being said, this is another reason why I’ve enjoyed my “self-imposed” blog challenge…It’s pushed me to write about things maybe I wouldn’t have otherwise?

Tomorrow, I will have a more light-hearted Friday Favorites post.

5 thoughts on “Blog Challenge Part 12

  1. Aww, you went deep here. I can’t imagine moving in middle school and how hard that must have been. We moved right before I started kindergarten and I was also one of the oldest and I think that was an advantage.
    I also try to facilitate friends for new students. I try to sit them by someone I think they would like if I can.
    I didn’t know you struggled so much with getting pregnant and trying for a third. I didn’t have to go through that or a miscarriage but both of my sisters have. We never even seriously had a third on the table because we were so busy and happy with our two. I sometimes wondered about adding a third but I am from a family of three and liked the idea of keeping it even.
    This blog challenge has been really good!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I was really intentional with moving to this house when we did. I wanted to move and be settled before the kids started kindergarten so where we live would align with good schools for them and we wouldn’t have to move. I was probably crazy for wanting a third. I’ve always said I don’t know if I would have wanted a third so badly if I had two singleton pregnancies. I love my brother but also had always wished I had a sister. Travis is one of four but he was fine with two…but happy if we had more. Yes I’ve really enjoyed the blog topics. Mixing it up a bit

      Liked by 1 person

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